While feeding my toddler at 5am # Friday faves
I thought of these verses…
Psalm 22:8- 10
“He trusts in the LORD; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!”
Yet you are he who took me from the womb; you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.
On you was I cast from my birth, and from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
I never planned on starting my days at 5am. I was going to have one of those babies that sleep well, and stay asleep till 7am. I liked sleeping, therefore baby would like sleeping. Ha. No chance.
I did plan on breastfeeding, and breastfeeding until baby was ready to stop feeding.
I didn’t realise the impact this was going to have on my mothering. Breastfeeding works best on cue- or as demanded by a red screwed up little baby face. I quickly learnt to do my part and learned that things went a lot more smoothly for us when I trusted my baby and he learnt to trust me to provide the things he needed.
My newborn baby quickly learned to trust in me to provide breastfeed him when he was hungry, tired, or just a little lonely. We’ve developed a lovely relationship. Being responsible for feeding this little baby has grown into much more than just nutrition. I hope that through the experience of being loved, nurtured (and fed!) he is learning about God, learning to trust God, even while he is still young enough to need me to feed him to sleep.
This verse strengthens me through the constant giving of myself, hour after hour. Constant watching, hoping and praying for that small child.
Through the tantrums, through the knocks and bruises- mine and his!. My child’s earliest learning about repentance and forgiveness is coming long before school or study groups. It comes after the food is deliberately spilt and he has to help clear it up and is learning to say sorry. It comes as he watches us care for people around us. The words we choose to use about each other, and about God. The respect we show for the stories of the Bible.
So, while I feed my toddler at 5am, I try to stop the resentment my lost hours of sleep (it’s a stage…it will pass), and hope that I am teaching him about unrequited love, about a God that know him and choose him before the beginning of the world.
P.S. I write about breastfeeding, as its what we do here. But this is far more than about milk- it’s about the way we are with our children and the way they can learn about God while they are still tiny.